Poems of Loss
Losses of Mine and Others
I wrote some of these poems for people I know who had suffered a loss. The others are about losses of mine. For some people these might be an encouragement finding that they are not alone when they see the emotions the poems describe. We people are one the world over and our emotions are shared emotions. Those who have traveled the road before us can help to make the journey more bearable. I invite you to dip into these poems to see if you find one that helps you as you bear the burden of grief. Perhaps you will find something to lighten your load. I found writing them to be a blessing for myself and would urge you to try writing about your own grief, whether in poetry or in prose. Writing is so therapeutic. I find it particularly helpful to express my emotions as I seem to have lost the ability to cry. Expressing one's feelings on paper or the computer can really help to understand what one is going through.Grieving is hard work and has various stages. Poetry can help one to understand what is happening during this process. So dip into my page of poems and see if you can find one to suit you.
The intro photo is mine.
Before You Read My Poems of Loss
These poems express great sorrow of varying kinds. You might find it helpful to know that you are not alone in a huge roller coaster of emotions. In some circumstances the poems might make your grief unbearable and are best put aside for another day, but later they may so click into place with your own feelings, that you feel reinforced in the stage you have reached.
In grief you feel so alone and yet if you just think about it, you realise there are many people at varying stages going through the same process. You are fighting to find some normality in your life. The strong emotions at one time and the numbness at another, are necessary for the healing to take place. At times you will feel intense anger that the beloved one has gone. At another time the least little thing will trigger tears. Try not to fight these emotions, but go along with them and let them do their healing work.
It is important for you to express your anger, possibly out loud on your own, if you do not you are more likely to get depressed. Welcome each emotion as a friend visiting to heal you. Don't expect to run before you can walk, the grieving process takes time. Mix with other people as much as you can, but also allow yourself time on your own, both are good.
I hope my poems will help you.
My Prayer for You in Your Loss
May my poems of loss
Be filled with Compassion,
Bring to your heart
Peace in some fashion.
Your loss is great,
It can't be denied,
But life unfolds
On a path less wide.
Never the same
With your loved one gone.
The pain must be faced,
The work of grieving done.
But a life can be made
Again, though a price is paid
Of a vacant chair
And an empty bed.
Keep the memories strong,
As you journey along.
You, too can help those
Struggling through woes.
Be at peace
As life onward flows.
Liz Mackay
A New Dimension
I have now added sound to my poems. I have recorded many of the poems on this page. Now you can hear them as I intended them to be spoken. I hope this will enhance the experience for you. This page is very precious to me as it speaks of very difficult times in our lives. I hope you will find great comfort here and come back to dip into new poems as I write them. To hear me speak click on "Listen."
After a Long Life Together
A poem to mark a long partnership
A long,long road
We had traveled,
My man and I.
A road with many turns,
But him beside me all the way.
Through the joys and the sorrows
And all the tomorrows.
Then one day
He was gone,
His journey ended.
And I must travel on alone,
Or at least,
With him out of sight to natural eye.
For he is around a corner
Where I cannot see,
Yet dwells with me in memory still.
And I think ever.
"What would he do about this?
What would he say?"
And the answer comes
As sure as if I heard it.
And I go onward
To my destination,
With hope still in my heart.
Liz Mackay
A long marriage
I wrote this poem after an elderly neighbour died leaving a widow. They had been together more than sixty years. I didn't show this poem to the widow, I didn't want to intrude on her grief.
Days of Sunshine
In our youth
The sun always seemed to shine.
I was yours
And you were mine.
Such happiness we seemed to know,
Even when rough winds did blow.
Each trouble which came our way
Brought us still closer, day by day.
We were so blessed by long life together.
We had stood the test
And braved the weather.
Now has come our time to part.
You must go first,
How it breaks my heart.
I must walk on
All alone.
For heaven has called you
And I feel like stone.
But you would not wish me
In any way ill,
So I must live to your memory
And climb the lone hill.
I must bravely move forward
And live a good life,
That speaks of your kindness
Which made me a happy wife.
Liz Mackay
Light No More
The light extinguished
Darkness fluttered down,
Velvety and black
Like an evening gown.
The light departed
In a final brilliant flash
Of silken wonder,
Like a silver sash.
You left so suddenly.
You caught me by surprise.
I had thought we had longer;
I was wrong in my surmise.
Like a mighty oak cut down
You were felled and left.
Now I keep your memory
So that I'm not quite bereft.
But memories make me ache so
And wish for times now past.
I have to travel on somehow
And alone bear the winter's blast
Liz Mackay
Bitter Sweet
'Tis bitter, sweet for me my love
To think of you
In lonely hour.
To think of all the love we knew
When still in love's gold bower.
We two lived through
Such splendid days
Of companionship of such plenty.
But now you have left
For realms above
And still I feel its power,
The love we had
For that sweet hour.
Liz Mackay
The Anniversary
Remembered Loss
It was this time of year
When he said,"Goodbye" to me.
He did not want to go
But knew it so must be.
I clasped him to my body,
Longing to keep him so,
But pain had weakened him,
We knew he must go.
I lingererd at his side.
I held his cold, cold hand.
At last he slipped away.
I could not understand
Why he should go
And I should stay.
Together hand in hand
Down long years we had strolled,
Till the fateful bell tolled.
Now we apart must be,
Until I reach eternity.
Liz Mackay
The Widow's Lament
A Poem of a Wife's Loss
With widow's weeds
My head is crowned.
In salty tears
My face is drowned.
For you ,alas, my love are gone
And I am wan.
I rage at you
For leaving me so.
How could you rise
And quickly go?
When I need you so,
Brought now so low.
With terror filled
My mind cast down
How can I walk
Out in the town.
I am not fit for a crowd
Wrapped in my mourning shroud.
But I will fight this ancient curse
Leave behind the shroud and hearse,
To fight for life once more
And bless your memory
Till I reach heaven's door
Liz Mackay
Memory in Loss
Sometimes there is a sudden flash of memory,
Where I see you, for a second, sitting opposite me
In your chair.
Gone as quickly as it came,
But so vivid and yet so fleeting
And with it comes a bitter-sweet touch of pain.
I would not be without these times,
Though the pain cuts deep,
For the joy is also great, though brief.
Liz Mackay
Fields of Corn
What happy days
In Summer sun
We two spent,
Enjoyed such fun.
The memory of those golden days
Stays with me still,
Though you have long since flown.
Why did you go?
And leave me so?
To wander on my weary way.
To wear a happy mask
For the world to see,
Though inwardly I feel no glee.
For half myself is lost and gone
In those fields of shining corn.
Liz Mackay
Golden Days
A poem about the loss of divorce
I thought I loved you
With an everlasting love,
But circumstance
Has worn it thin.
I thought our love
Was the love song of the
New Century,
But the tune has died away
At the clamour of your rage.
You loved me as best you could,
But childhood terror
Had wiped the trust
From your eyes.
You could not depend on me
And you made my love to fade,
With your lack of trust in me.
I blame you not
But only weep
That we have lost
Those golden days
We had when we began
The idyll of our love.
But still it lives in memory
Where it cannot fade.
In memory
Where we two
Are still
The New Century's
Greatest Lovers.
Liz Mackay
Poignant memories
This poem tells the poignancy of my second marriage and the things I cherish about it. Divorce cannot completely wipe out the good things in a marriage. Once there was love and understanding between us, but the circumstances of life pushed this aside, but still good memories remain.
Why Did I Write These Poems?
It all began with Little Babe. I heard of a cot death and I knew the grandparents slightly. I felt such sympathy and pain for them and it just spilled out onto the paper. I then wrote about my own experiences of bereavement, remembering people from my past, like Angela. Gradually more poems came.
I used to write poetry at school, but usually only when I had a deadline such as for the school magazine. I needed that incentive to write. Occasionally over the years I would write a poem. Then in 2009 when I was training to become a Local Preacher with the Methodist church in Britain, I needed a meditation for a service and decided to write a poem called "God the Infinite." That seemed to be the catalyst for me to write more and more poems in a far more consistent way than ever before in my life. By this time I had jopined Squidoo and decided to write a page called Inspirational Meditations, mostly poems about God. Then came More Inspirational Meditations. Soon I challenged myself to write a poem a day for a year. This was most beneficial, to have a discipline in place. I wrote from April 2010 till March 2011. About the same time I began this page. At first it did not receive a great deal of attention, although it was awarded a purple star. However from September 2012 for a few months many people visited. Some even asked me to write a poem specific to their experience of loss. I felt privileged to do this. My other experience in helping with bereavement has been in taking a few funeral services during the past year. These have been very important occasions for me. It is such a privilege to stand beside people in their grief and offer words of comfort. I usually write a poem for each occasion. I have included some here but with changes as I like my people to know that each poem is just for them.
I intend to add poems to this page as and when I feel able to write them. I hope you, my readers, will find something here to help you in some way.
Little Babe No Longer with Us
A poem of early loss
O little one,
We loved you so.
Though you were here
So short a while.
Helplessly we commit you
To our Father's care
And are grateful
That He does not require us
To understand.
Such joy when you came,
Such sorrow when you left.
And the Father understands
Our anger and our tears.
He does not require us to hang on to Him,
For He holds us in His care.
And keeps us though we feel lost and away from Him.
This little life has made an impact on us
Which will never be forgotten.
Her life part of the mystery of being,
Having a far-reaching effect,although here
So short a time with us.
Liz Mackay
Why I Wrote Little Babe
I knew a couple at church, only slightly, but when I heard their little grandchild had succumbed to cot death I was very moved and wrote this poem, to try in some small way to help them.Several months later I was honoured and humbled to discover that my poem had been read at the funeral service. I wanted them and the parents to know that God cared and even understood when they felt angry.
Autumn Farewell
Wispy smoke from the Autumn fire rises on high.
Once more the leaves are burnt.
They no longer fly,
The year is dying,
The trees are sighing.
The trees are put to bed
And their glorious filigree
Reaches into the sky.
They only sleep,
They do not die.
Dormant they stand
All across the land
Astride the landscape
Tall and grand.
The waning light
Has bid them sleep.
One last stand they took,
In glorious colour bedecked.
Take one last look
For the wondrous colour
Will not last,
But fall away
With the wind's cold blast.
So too, my love
My time with you is gone.
Winter has come
Where once the sun had shone.
Life's colour fades
To muted black and white
And widow's weeds
Wrap round me this dark night.
We had our fill of seasons,
Walked hand in hand
O'er pastures green
Which filled the land.
We raised our brood
And raised them good.
Now they flourish,
But we are parted,
Our time fulfilled
And you departed.
Angela, My Friend
A poem of childhood parting and loss
Angela, my first friend
And special for that reason.
I the youngest in my family
Took great delight
In having a younger friend;
Someone I could look after
And hold her hand
In protection.
But I could not
Keep her safe
From the biting wheels
Which trapped her,
Killed by her Father's
Unwitting hand
On the steering wheel of his car.
What sense in this O God?
He was off to preach your word.
Felt the bump.
As Angela lay crushed,
Thought he had run over a cat.
Poor man never the same again.
O God! Why?
And down the years
The question rings still
And in many a life
Where loss is known,
That agony lives on
O God! Why?
There is no easy answer
We have to find it on our own
In the only way we can make sense of it.
And long the wounding years may be,
Before we find an answer.
Liz Mackay
Tragedy from my childhood
This poem is based on a true event from my childhood, an event which has remained with me all through my life. Angela was two when she died and I was three. She was special to me because my brother and sister were quite a bit older than me and so it was good to have a little friend that I could look after. This was my first experience of death and had a marked effect on me from then on into the rest of my life. Those were the days before people thought about children grieving so there was not much help with this. As an adult I took it into my head to visit Angela's grave and was surprised to find I had chosen a day very close to the anniversary of her death. I think the flowers blooming in my garden had reminded me of her, particularly the sweet williams, they would have been blooming on the day she died all those years before.
The Tragedy of Loss
Any bereavement is hard to understand and hard to bear. Suddenly one is thrown into painful emotions. The most difficult to bear must be the loss of a child to a parent. This seems so unnatural that we should survive, while our much loved child is gone. A little one we have hardly learned to know and love is taken away and where we had spent months preparing for their arrival, we now have long years to lament their going. Similarly having brought up a young teenager to where they are on the brink of fulfilling their dreams, their life is cut short and the parent's life spent raising them seems pointless.
Bereavement is a time when we have to face a period of thinking through what has happened and trying to make sense of the senseless. It is hard work and has to be undertaken if the bereaved person is to come through it and learn to live again.
Alone, Not Lonely
A poem about aloneness
Do not be afraid
To live alone.
It is strange at first,
But has its compensations.
For friendship and company
You have gained
Solitude and peace.
The peace of your own decision
With none to gainsay
Your wisdom.
And as you gain in confidence
The joy of your own choice,
Step forward
And be your own person.
Reach up to the Lord on high,
Who can now fill your days
And meet you
In the quietness.
Peace not possible before
When you were "cumbered with much serving."
Now is your "Mary" time,
Time for fulfillment.
The years before were good.
Now is the ripening come.
Fill your hours with listening.
Your Lord awaits
To fill your mouth with good things.
Sit at His feet
And take your fill,
Drink in the living water,
He has for you,
Come fill your cup.
The King of kings awaits
At the banquet.
Liz Mackay
Liz Mackay
Being alone
This poem is about being alone for whatever reason and its advantages as well as disadvantages. I live alone after divorce.There are indeed lots of advantages of being on one's own. I never feel lonely in bed at night, I just thoroughly enjoy having a comfortable bed to myself with no one to kick me or complain if I snore! I also like to pray in bed and solitude is very good for this.
On my own I don't have to cook at a particular time and if I don't want to tidy up I needn't. I can watch what I want on the T.V. or read a book without interruption. I understand it if others find life difficult on their own, but I enjoy it.
How to Remember Me
Where the wind is sighing through the beech trees
And the light flickers through the branches
And the young plum trees
Stand guard and lead you up the path
From the south, to my resting place.
Where the long grasses wave over me,
I lay me down in the paddock I loved.
For rest at last has come.
I loved my life and lived it well.
Loved and was loved
By friends and family.
You cannot now believe I have gone
But through all the bewilderment
You will keep me in memory.
The best of times bright and good;
The more painful times
Mellowed with my passing.
May those good memories inspire you to live your lives to the full,
Pressing on into the future and in no way held back by thoughts of me.
May my epitaph be
The fullness of life you each one live.
Liz Mackay
Catharsis
This word means purging or cleansing. The Greeks believed that when a person watched a drama they felt the emotions of the characters and this cleansed their own emotions. This also happens when reading poetry. The reader recognizes their own feelings as expressed by the poem and feels those emotions more keenly and then feels better for it afterwards.
Sometimes the person grieving has that grief delayed because of other problems at the time of the death. I have a friend who not only lost her husband but also lost her job and home all at the same time. Because she was so busy dealing with these matters her grieving was delayed. To help get back into the grieving process, which is a necessary stage to recovery, the griever may need the help of poetry or drama or something similar.
Comfort for many occasions of grief can be found in the Bible
The Bible can be a great source of comfort when we are going through a time of grieving. When King David and Bathsheba had their first son and he was ill, David fasted and prayed earnestly to God. When the baby died David's courtiers were amazed that he stopped being in a state of outward grief. David said that now that the baby was dead there was nothing he could do but wait for the time when he would meet him after his own death. People react differently to grief. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. You can only do it in your own way.
The Psalms, many written by David,are really poems. Because of translation from the Hebrew, they do not rhyme as we understand it. Some of them are written so that each line starts with the letters of the Hebrew alphabet in order. Much of the book of Job is poetic as is The Song of Songs.
Death of a Teenage Daughter
A Sudden Unexpected Loss
You were just beginning to bloom,
My beautiful daughter,
When without warning
The frost cut you down,
The cruel frost of death.
Such a bloom on your cheeks,
Such lustre in your hair.
Then at a stroke, no more.
No explanation,
No apparent illness.
But gone never-the-less,
Taken away from us
In the first blooming of your youth.
And why? is on our lips and in our hearts.
Sixteen years we cherished you
And watched your progress.
Such a healthy, happy child,
With such love of life.
You entered into life
Enjoyed your growing powers,
Shared friendship,
Were a good companion to your friends.
And then one night you slept
To wake no more.
How devastating a blow
For your family and friends.
We celebrate your short life
And mourn your passing.
Unexplained death
A girl in our area, whom I did not know, died over night for no apparent reason. They call it sudden death syndrome.This sad occurence touched my heart and so I wrote this poem.
EMPTINESS
I've lost my best buddy,
My best friend.
There's a space in my life,
A gap that will not mend.
Yet I struggle on,
Trying to keep things together.
I feel like a bird
Plucked of every feather.
The sun doesn't shine
As strongly as it did
When you were here,
Before you left and hid.
The sky is grey and dreary,
The rain is pouring down.
You took the sunshine with you,
While I in sorrow drown.
WHY?
God is a God of love,
But that doesn't mean he's easy to understand.
We don't know why He takes away
Those most precious to us
When it seems we need them most.
Why, when some sad old man coughs in pain through his later years,
Does God take our rosy, healthy child
Run over by a car.
But faith clings on
And knows our God is good.
He is greater than our reasoning
He knows the final good
Which will see us saying in amazement
"So that is why,
I could never have dreamed such a purpose could be
In my limited human thinking
God is good,
God is love.
I see it all now."
But we are still here in time
And must trust where we cannot see.
And the tears must flow
And the anguish tear our hearts,
As we struggle with the pain and loss
And slowly move from day to day
Uncertain how to face the grief,
Stepping forward into a different life,
Without the beloved one.
WINTER
Drifting down
From a leaden sky
The snow flakes come
And I remember
How you loved the Winter.
You would bring in the logs
From the wood pile
And build up the fire
Then settle to reading
In the warm glow.
Now our son
Brings in the wood,
Collected in the Summer.
He builds up the fire for me
And settles me in the chair
To read as you once did.
Faithful Friend
Loss of a Pet
You were my faithful friend,
We walked together many a mile
In companionable silence.
Whatever mood I was in
You shared it
And never questioned how I felt,
But plodded softly beside me.
If my mood was high
Our pace would quicken.
If low,
You adjusted your step
To mine.
You did not whine or whinge,
But simply barked
At the joy of knowing Spring.
For twelve years
You walked the lanes with me.
Then death took you
With his icy hands
To your rest.
I know not which is most,
The pain of losing you,
Or the warm memory of
Knowing you so long.
Goodbye friend
For many the loss of a much loved pet can be just as traumatic as the loss of a family member. I have celebrated those feelings in this poem.
Walk On
Now you are gone
I turn to find you,
But you are no longer there.
And still it hurts
To be thus alone.
But I can hear you say,
"Cheer up, old girl.
There is still life for you to live.
Don't let me down
In seeing you mope.
How can I enjoy heaven
If I have to see you so down at mouth?
Buck up, old girl - LIVE."
Coping with grief
Grief is something none of us wants to experience but we will all meet in our lives. It may be the shock of losing a school friend when we are young, or it may be seeing one’s elderly friends passing away as we get older until none of our age group friends are left. We all need help at these times to come to terms with our loss. One of the most helpful things, at these times is to hear how other people have coped with grief. In my poems I either express my own grief or I get alongside other people and express their grief for them. This is a position of privilege and I do not take it lightly, but I hope to help those who are touched by my poems. I hope through my poems I can reach out to you and touch you with love and empathy as you experience your own unique time of grief.
Beside My Father at Death
You drifted into unconsciousness
That final night when death was near.
I held your hand and softly spoke
My love to you my dear
And your hand gripped mine one last time
Then you left without a tear.
Your spirit lifted to eternity,
Left your body to its fate.
It began to wither from that hour,
While you stood at heaven's gate.
I sat a while beside the bed
But knew I must no longer wait.
You had gone home to glory
After a long life of mental pain,
Now what you would find;
Would only be for your gain.
Among the blessed ones in heaven
Washed clean from every stain.
My Father and I
Dad was bipolar and was not easy to live with. When he was "high" he was argumentative and would tease me. He was rarely stable. When he was "low" he took to his bed. However Dad had a strong faith in God and more than anything wanted to please him. When he was "high" nothing could shake his faith. When he was "low" all sorts of doubts would plague him. When he was nearing the end of his life he was in hospital. Here he was at his most sure about his faith. One day I visited him and spoke to him as his eyes were closed. I said "Hello Dad." He opened his eyes and said, "I was just going to be with the Lord." I said I was sorry to have interrupted him. He actually died a few days later. I was with him at that time. . I could see his heart was not working well as his fingers were blue. He was unconscious and drifted gently away This was the only time I had seen anyone die. It was not scary but just the natural close to a life well lived. The poem above is dedicated to him.
'til Eternity
No poem softly rolling from my lips,
Can tell my pain at losing you.
No song in piteous lament,
Give back the sorrow since you flew.
Since you flew to realms of light eternal,
From which you cannot return,
To keep me company once more.
We cannot meet until my final flight
Wings me to your side for ever more
Death of a Mature Daughter
'Tis well gone fifty years
Since I gave birth to you,
My gentle daughter.
But you have left me
Bereft,
Not knowing how
To come to terms with your loss.
I should have preceded you
In death's cold stream.
But you, the stay of my old age
Have now passed through
The eternal portals
And left my heart
Aching at the core.
Where shall I turn for comfort?
Where find the warmth
I knew with you?
Your laughter and your joy
Is swallowed up
And will not return.
Is there an after life
Where you still live?
An unknown bliss
In far off heavenly halls?
Do you live on
In such a blessed place?
I cannot tell
But hope beats in my heart,
For I would wish it so.
How the Loss of a Child can Affect Your Marriage
Men and women grieve in different ways. While a mother may cry much and frequently the father will be silent and appear unfeeling, when in fact he is just as distraught. The wife can mistake this for an uncaring attitude to the lost child. Often marriages break up because of this lack of understanding. That is so sad. See the links below to find out how each partner grieves.
The Walk
I walked today in golden fields
Where we were wont to roam.
I smelt the air
As crisp as ever,
Treading the soft brown loam.
I did not walk alone my dear,
For you are long since gone.
I held another hand my love,
Walked where the golden sun shone.
I felt you smile upon us,
For you dwell where jealousy is not known.
You would be glad I have a helper.
You would not want me to be alone.
I do not speak of you to him,
But hold you in my heart.
He knows not that my first true love
Can never from me part.
Your Pain
Your pain
Is the pain of loss, my love.
It springs from a well so deep.
It overwhelms you now, my love
And robs you of your sleep.
But in time
The pain will heal, my love.
The throb will surely grow less,
For He will be in your heart, my love,
To comfort and to bless.
For the winter of the soul's dark night
Will surely be healed and put to right
When we meet once more in heaven's light,
When we've fought and won the final fight
Why Don't You Understand?
Sometimes words are hollow.
I sit in the humming silence
With the clock ticking away the seconds,
Taking me further and further away
From the day I last saw you.
I am drifting in a sea of loneliness.
Friends come in their lifeboat
To rescue me.
But I cannot seem to catch the lifebelts they fling at me.
They want to help but are exasperated by my inability to respond to them.
They want me to pull myself together
And do not understand that I have lost so much
Of myself in you
That there is not enough left of me to pull together.
And yet the weight I have ties me to this earth
When I would be gone.
Liz Mackay
The Privilege of Taking a Funeral Service
I recently took my first funeral service. A friend who died of cancer specifically asked me to take her service. I was amazed to discover what a privilege and honour this was. Below you can take the link to my page about how I became a Methodist Local Preacher. I am about to take my second service and for this I have written a poem which I will not feature here, as it was written for the family, to be just for them. I feel God has gifted me to be able to come alongside grieving families and give them a service to help them find closure, so that this time marks an end of what came before and a beginning of a new but very different future. I declare the hope of the Christian faith that there is a future of great joy and peace for those who put their trust in Jesus. Below find may page that helps you find material for a funeral and how you can help your family by choosing your own hymns and readings and poetry and music.
Goodbye Mommy
A little child is crying
Her Mommy went away.
She cannot understand it
She wanted her to stay.
This tenderhearted, little one
Is grieving
In her own way
"Oh why did Mommy have to go?
Why couldn't she stay?"
They told her of the angels bright
Where Mommy's gone to live,
But oh she wanted Mommy
Anything she would give
To have her Mommy back here;
To cuddle her on her knee.
But her Mommy's gone forever,
That's how it has to be.
The grown-ups don't appreciate
The pain she's going through.
They think she's young and will get over it
And think of something new.
But little lives are tender
And soak up all the pain
They need such loving help
To take them where they gain
The path that leads to acceptance
That it was no fault of there's
That took their Mommy from them
Up those golden stairs.
Time Like an Ever Rolling Stream Bears all its Sons Away
River Song
You are just a boat-ride away now
My ticket is booked
But is not for yet, not now.
No matter how hard I would wish it.
I miss you so and how!
I hear the water lapping
As I stand on the final shore,
But I must live a little longer,
Must keep the routine going,
Must fight this bloody war.
Life is a battle since you left,
A struggle to survive;
To keep my mind on everyday things,
Since you are not here or alive.
Be Positive
It is very important to look on the bright side. Your cup may not be full but you should see it as being half full, not half empty. Instead of thinking about the fact that you have lost someone, remember the good times you had with them. If they died of some particular illness you could decide to help a charity that helps other people with that illness. Maybe this way you could give the gift of life to someone else. You could work in a local charity shop. This way you would also have company and gain new friends.
If you are widowed there is no reason why you should not get married again. That is a compliment to the one you have lost. It says,"Marriage to you was good and makes me want to find something of that joy again."
Look for the joy that is still in your life and be positive. Do not wrap yourself in a cocoon of misery or you will drive people away from you, at a time when you need your friends. You should not talk continually about your bereavement or you will drag yourself into depression and that can take a long time to go away. You don't have to tell people about your bereavement. Your close friends will already know and acquaintances can be kept in the dark. You are making a new life now and though you will be sad there are still good things in life to enjoy.
Managing your grief
At first you will be numb with disbelief that you have lost your dear one Probably you will cry a lot. Funeral arrangements will keep you busy at first, but after that the real work of grieving will take place. It may be helpful to keep a special time each day when you allow the tears to come freely. You might then be able to get through your daytime coping fairly well, knowing that you have that special time later on when you can just let go of your feelings.
It is always helpful to have understanding friends around, especially ones who have experienced what you are going through. Try not to shut yourself away from other people. We are social animals and need one another. None of us likes to cry in public but you should not be ashamed of doing so, Emotions are important things and we should feel able to express them.
If you find yourself getting depressed go to your doctor for advice and treatment if necessary. Get help wherever you can. If you have family lean on them, that's what families are for. And remember there are good times again up ahead.
Write Your Own Poem
Although reading poetry someone else has written can help you with your feelings, there is nothing as good as tapping into your own emotions and expressing yourself on paper. It is a great help in coming to terms with your loss. What you write can be just for you to read with no need to worry about what someone else would think of your creation.
REMEMBERING
Wish me a wish
Of former days.
Stand by my side,
See the morning haze.
Mist oe'r the river
Splice me a sliver
Of all that was good
When we had each other.
Give me a moment
Under the moon's silver disc.
Embrace my shoulders,
Blow me a kiss.
Stand beside me
when the sun beats down
On golden corn,
The year's nuptial crown.
But now you are gone
And cruel winter is here.
I hear your voice no longer,
My own precious Dear.
Sorrow in Life
We all come across sorrow in life at some point. Sometimes we might lose a school friend, sometimes a parent. I feel that those of us who can express our emotions at these times, can help others to know that they are not alone. This painful time is common to us all. For some reason there is comfort in this. That is why I wrote these poems. Occasionally I give a poem to a friend lost in sorrow. These poems are best read when you are going to cry in any case. If you are feeling stronger it is best not to read them or tears may come. They can also be read by people who have come to terms with their loss. At such a time they will be poignant but not distressing. I hope you are able to use my poems as therapy. May the pain of sorrow lessen even though its reality will never go away. God bless you in your journey back into the sunlight.
My Words of Parting
When you see the trees
Tossed by the breeze
Know that I am not there
But still remember me.
When summer days
Shine through the haze,
Know that I am not there
But still remember me.
I dwell in heights of glory,
Where God is on his throne.
I joy to worship him,
With myriad folk, so never am alone.
And praising God is joyous.
How much I cannot say,
But my time is fulfilled
More than on any earthly day.
For here there is no time,
We do not say "Goodbye"
But endlessly we love and are loved
And never more will die.
Verse for a Funeral
Today we meet and sadly so
To mark the passing of this man,
For cruel death comes to us all,
though this was not the first intended plan.
For mankind was made for life and love,
To praise his Maker and adore.
But Eve and Adam fell
And opened up to death the door.
But God would not be thwarted in His purpose
And had already prepared a way
For mankind to come back
And enter into eternal life one day.
He sent His Son Jesus by name
To take the punishment and blame,
So that all who believed in Him
And in Him put their trust,
Could be freed at last,
And pass through death
To find it but the gate of heaven.
Thus, sad though this day is for us,
We look beyond to realms of light
Where myriad souls, have entered,
Saved by Jesus's might.
The Bereaved Husband
The years have flown
As years must do,
But still will I remember you.
The radiant bride
I proudly wed;
The mother of our little brood.
But they are grown
And parents too.
Now I am left to mourn alone.
For with those years you too have flown.
The memories bitter-sweet must be
For death has parted you from me.
The finality is hard to bear
And fills my mind with many a care.
Where once our days were filled with busy hours
I now find emptiness.
I struggle to live through each day;
The pain it deepens.
Will it never go away?
And if it did, what guilt I then would know;
To forget my bonny lass
And without a thought of her
Through this world to go.
You Need People when you Are Grieving
When you have lost a loved one you need a certain amount of time on your own to grieve and come to terms with what has happened, but you also need to spend time with other people. You need people who can listen and understand that the grieving process takes time. When you lose your partner who may need one to two years to come to terms with what has happened or even longer. People who have never had this experience may expect you to be "over it" in a few months. So it is important to be around people who understand
Some people are more empathetic than others and even if they have not lost someone close they may be able to understand something of what you are going through.
It can also be a relief sometimes to talk with a stranger in passing and know that they don't know what you are going through and you don't need to tell them. You can only find a way through in your own way. Everyone is different and yet we can find comfort in talking with one another.
FAREWELL
I found him
Collapsed on the lawn.
I knelt and put his head on my lap
In the pale light of dawn.
"Do you hear that drum," he said.
"No, no my dear
I hear no drum."
"To me it's quite clear," he said
"It calls me to go yonder."
"No, no my dear
I hear it not.
All will be well, don't fear."
"And now there's a bell
I hear it bright.
'Tis tolling the knell
And there's a shining light.
They are calling me homeward.
I cannot stay.
Farewell good wife,
I must away.
From Beacon Hill
From Beacon Hill
I downward cast my eye,
To that green field
Wherein your body lies.
And as the tears
Do blur that peaceful scene
I remember oh so much
What your love meant to me.
Your mellow voice
Doth seem to whisper in my ear
Of days we spent
In this poor sorry world,
Where all seems well
'Til one is whisked away
To realms of light.
Whilst one must stay
And face the journey onward
All alone.
A Villanelle of Mourning
Now I am left in sadness to mourn,
Tears flood mine eyes, and my heart is sad.
Now you are gone I am left forlorn.
Now widow's weeds my body adorn,
Gone is my sweetest and bonny lad.
Now I am left in sadness to mourn
No longer with horse and hunter's horn
Do you ride with the good and the bad.
Now you are gone I am left forlorn.
Your wardrobe still holds the clothes you had worn.
I smell you still, it makes me feel mad.
Now I am left in sadness to mourn.
In memory of you my head I have shorn.
In you our children have lost a good Dad.
Now you are gone we are left forlorn.
And so I remember you each morn.
Remember the times of joy we had
Now I am left in sadness to mourn
Now you are gone I am left forlorn.
When Grieving is Blocked
For some people grieving is very difficult. When a parent dies at a ripe old age grieving can be a natural process which settles into acceptance, but for some this is not a possibility. When a person has had an abusive parent there can be a sense of relief that they are gone at last, but it is not a happy conclusion. Although I have not experienced this for myself I have attempted to write a poem below which might help someone express their feelings at a time like this.
DEPARTING
Rock me gently, my Lord
In your arms this night.
Carry me safely
To the land of light,
Where all your good servants
Are welcomed with rest,
In that land beyond this,
The land of the blest.
For life has been kind to me,
But now I must sleep.
Rock me gently my Lord
As I pass o'er the deep.
GONE
They tell me you have died.
I will not come to your funeral,
Or stand at your graveside.
For we were never friends
You and I.
You were meant to be my father,
But instead you tormented me.
I will say no more of that,
For you know what you did.
It is not that I rejoice at your death,
But just that I have a hollow spot
Where my grief should be.
and so I let you go on your way,
While I hope I can bury the pain you caused.
This is not my experience but I wanted to express how someone abused might feel. I hope it is helpful to someone, but realize I might have got it totally wrong.
MEMORIES
Memories, memories
Weaving through my mind
Of the many times we spent together.
These memories I find
Still linger in the twilight
And come to me at dawn.
Memories, sweet memories
You have left behind.
Memories of when
First we met;
Walking out together,in the sun or wet.
We didn't mind the weather
Just as long
As we could be
Travelling side by side
In joyful company.
We had so many happy days
And also coped with pain,
But there was always love
In sunshine and in rain.
Then came the time when you must go
And leave me on my own.
At first it was hard
My heart felt like stone.
But you would not want me thus
And so I struggle on.
I'll live my life in memory of you
'Til it's time for me to be gone.
Living Life to the Full
I look back
At the days of the past,
Days when you were with me,
They have flown so fast.
They were days of beauty
They were days of charm,
Days we spent
On our own little farm.
We raised our cows and sheep and pigs,
Life was good
And we danced many jigs
In the barn dances we held
On the old barn floor.
'Tis good to look back
And I draw strength from it,
To carry on and live life
To the full, every bit.
To drink life to the dregs
Is my intent,
Though you are gone,
All your days spent.
Life is for living,
Though your life is o'er.
I want to live a good life
Though you are with me no more.
In Pastures Green
In pastures green I lay me down
And rest life's troubles o'er.
I've fought the fight,
Known love and pain.
Shared life with loved ones.
Known the pain of their passing
Now comes my time to rest
In God's good earth.
Free from life's struggles
Where God gives his children peace.
Liz Mackay
The Poet Expresses Our Emotions for Us
I believe that poetry can have a very beneficial affect on someone who shares the emotions expressed my the poet. I do not feel it is mawkish or ghoulish to write about these difficult times. We all have to face bereavement throughout our lives, some earlier than others. I believe it can be a great comfort to find your emotions shared and expressed by another human being.
As a teenager I was touched by the poems of Thomas Hardy and also his novels. He was a particularly melancholic writer. Most of his books do not have happy endings. For me that is going a stage too far. As a Christian I see hope in God as a real and precious thing.
I hope you, my reader, have gained a little help from my poems. Perhaps you would like to read some on a happier note. You will find links to other pages as you progress down this page. Happy reading.
More Sad Poems For Your Comfort
- More Poems of Loss
Find a wealth of poems on this site. - More Sad Poems
Something for every taste. - A Book of Poems
Written by bereaved children, for bereaved children. - Poems about grieving and loss
More to be found on this site. There is always a new perspective.I was particularly moved by "My bsby died. Can I pleasese her one last time?"
Help with Bereavement
- The Psychiatrist's advice
From the Royal College of Psychiatrists - Advice from Mind
This organization helps people with all sorts of mental health problems. Bereavement comes into this category. - Child Bereavement
For those who have lost a child and for the child who has been bereaved.
Self Help Groups
These are groups where people with similar problems can share how they cope. In this case the problem is bereavement. You can get together with other bereaved people and share your experiences. Some people will be ahead of you on the journey, others coming up behind you. You can reassure one another that there is life after bereavement but that it is different. Life can never be the same, but it can still be good. You will find that some people's circumstances are ijn some ways much harder than your own and this can make you grateful for the life you have. Always be thankful for the good times you had with your loved one and remember all those good times, cherishing them.
Helping others with their bereavement can be very therapeutic for you, but be careful as there are people who like to make a meal of their misery and can make demands on you that you are in no position to cope with. However you can make good friends and support each other.