Poems of Loss

I wrote some of these poems for people I know who had suffered a loss. The others are about losses of mine. For some people these might be an encouragement finding that they are not alone when they see the emotions the poems describe. We people are one the world over and our emotions are shared emotions. Those who have traveled the road before us can help to make the journey more bearable. I invite you to dip into these poems to see if you find one that helps you as you bear the burden of grief. Perhaps you will find something to lighten your load. I found writing them to be a blessing for myself and would urge you to try writing about your own grief, whether in poetry or in prose. Writing is so therapeutic. I find it particularly helpful to express my emotions as I seem to have lost the ability to cry. Expressing one's feelings on paper or the computer can really help to understand what one is going through.Grieving is hard work and has various stages. Poetry can help one to understand what is happening during this process. So dip into my page of poems and see if you can find one to suit you.

The intro photo is mine.

These poems express great sorrow of varying kinds. You might find it helpful to know that you are not alone in a huge roller coaster of emotions. In some circumstances the poems might make your grief unbearable and are best put aside for another day, but later they may so click into place with your own feelings, that you feel reinforced in the stage you have reached.

In grief you feel so alone and yet if you just think about it, you realise there are many people at varying stages going through the same process. You are fighting to find some normality in your life. The strong emotions at one time and the numbness at another, are necessary for the healing to take place. At times you will feel intense anger that the beloved one has gone. At another time the least little thing will trigger tears. Try not to fight these emotions, but go along with them and let them do their healing work.

It is important for you to express your anger, possibly out loud on your own, if you do not you are more likely to get depressed. Welcome each emotion as a friend visiting to heal you. Don't expect to run before you can walk, the grieving process takes time. Mix with other people as much as you can, but also allow yourself time on your own, both are good.

I hope my poems will help you.

May my poems of loss

Be filled with Compassion,

Bring to your heart

Peace in some fashion.

Your loss is great,

It can't be denied,

But life unfolds

On a path less wide.

Never the same

With your loved one gone.

The pain must be faced,

The work of grieving done.

But a life can be made

Again, though a price is paid

Of a vacant chair

And an empty bed.

Keep the memories strong,

As you journey along.

You, too can help those

Struggling through woes.

Be at peace

As life onward flows.

Liz Mackay

I have now added sound to my poems. I have recorded many of the poems on this page. Now you can hear them as I intended them to be spoken. I hope this will enhance the experience for you. This page is very precious to me as it speaks of very difficult times in our lives. I hope you will find great comfort here and come back to dip into new poems as I write them. To hear me speak click on "Listen."

A poem to mark a long partnership

A long,long road

We had traveled,

My man and I.

A road with many turns,

But him beside me all the way.

Through the joys and the sorrows

And all the tomorrows.

Then one day

He was gone,

His journey ended.

And I must travel on alone,

Or at least,

With him out of sight to natural eye.

For he is around a corner

Where I cannot see,

Yet dwells with me in memory still.

And I think ever.

"What would he do about this?

What would he say?"

And the answer comes

As sure as if I heard it.

And I go onward

To my destination,

With hope still in my heart.

Listen

Liz Mackay

I wrote this poem after an elderly neighbour died leaving a widow. They had been together more than sixty years. I didn't show this poem to the widow, I didn't want to intrude on her grief.

In our youth

The sun always seemed to shine.

I was yours

And you were mine.

Such happiness we seemed to know,

Even when rough winds did blow.

Each trouble which came our way

Brought us still closer, day by day.

We were so blessed by long life together.

We had stood the test

And braved the weather.

Now has come our time to part.

You must go first,

How it breaks my heart.

I must walk on

All alone.

For heaven has called you

And I feel like stone.

But you would not wish me

In any way ill,

So I must live to your memory

And climb the lone hill.

I must bravely move forward

And live a good life,

That speaks of your kindness

Which made me a happy wife.

Liz Mackay

The light extinguished

Darkness fluttered down,

Velvety and black

Like an evening gown.

The light departed

In a final brilliant flash

Of silken wonder,

Like a silver sash.

You left so suddenly.

You caught me by surprise.

I had thought we had longer;

I was wrong in my surmise.

Like a mighty oak cut down

You were felled and left.

Now I keep your memory

So that I'm not quite bereft.

But memories make me ache so

And wish for times now past.

I have to travel on somehow

And alone bear the winter's blast

Liz Mackay

'Tis bitter, sweet for me my love

To think of you

In lonely hour.

To think of all the love we knew

When still in love's gold bower.

We two lived through

Such splendid days

Of companionship of such plenty.

But now you have left

For realms above

And still I feel its power,

The love we had

For that sweet hour.

Liz Mackay

Remembered Loss

It was this time of year

When he said,"Goodbye" to me.

He did not want to go

But knew it so must be.

I clasped him to my body,

Longing to keep him so,

But pain had weakened him,

We knew he must go.

I lingererd at his side.

I held his cold, cold hand.

At last he slipped away.

I could not understand

Why he should go

And I should stay.

Together hand in hand

Down long years we had strolled,

Till the fateful bell tolled.

Now we apart must be,

Until I reach eternity.

.Listen

Liz Mackay

A Poem of a Wife's Loss

With widow's weeds

My head is crowned.

In salty tears

My face is drowned.

For you ,alas, my love are gone

And I am wan.

I rage at you

For leaving me so.

How could you rise

And quickly go?

When I need you so,

Brought now so low.

With terror filled

My mind cast down

How can I walk

Out in the town.

I am not fit for a crowd

Wrapped in my mourning shroud.

But I will fight this ancient curse

Leave behind the shroud and hearse,

To fight for life once more

And bless your memory

Till I reach heaven's door

Listen

Liz Mackay

Sometimes there is a sudden flash of memory,

Where I see you, for a second, sitting opposite me

In your chair.

Gone as quickly as it came,

But so vivid and yet so fleeting

And with it comes a bitter-sweet touch of pain.

I would not be without these times,

Though the pain cuts deep,

For the joy is also great, though brief.

Liz Mackay

What happy days

In Summer sun

We two spent,

Enjoyed such fun.

The memory of those golden days

Stays with me still,

Though you have long since flown.

Why did you go?

And leave me so?

To wander on my weary way.

To wear a happy mask

For the world to see,

Though inwardly I feel no glee.

For half myself is lost and gone

In those fields of shining corn.

Liz Mackay

A poem about the loss of divorce

I thought I loved you

With an everlasting love,

But circumstance

Has worn it thin.

I thought our love

Was the love song of the

New Century,

But the tune has died away

At the clamour of your rage.

You loved me as best you could,

But childhood terror

Had wiped the trust

From your eyes.

You could not depend on me

And you made my love to fade,

With your lack of trust in me.

I blame you not

But only weep

That we have lost

Those golden days

We had when we began

The idyll of our love.

But still it lives in memory

Where it cannot fade.

In memory

Where we two

Are still

The New Century's

Greatest Lovers.

Liz Mackay

Listen

This poem tells the poignancy of my second marriage and the things I cherish about it. Divorce cannot completely wipe out the good things in a marriage. Once there was love and understanding between us, but the circumstances of life pushed this aside, but still good memories remain.

It all began with Little Babe. I heard of a cot death and I knew the grandparents slightly. I felt such sympathy and pain for them and it just spilled out onto the paper. I then wrote about my own experiences of bereavement, remembering people from my past, like Angela. Gradually more poems came.

I used to write poetry at school, but usually only when I had a deadline such as for the school magazine. I needed that incentive to write. Occasionally over the years I would write a poem. Then in 2009 when I was training to become a Local Preacher with the Methodist church in Britain, I needed a meditation for a service and decided to write a poem called "God the Infinite." That seemed to be the catalyst for me to write more and more poems in a far more consistent way than ever before in my life. By this time I had jopined Squidoo and decided to write a page called Inspirational Meditations, mostly poems about God. Then came More Inspirational Meditations. Soon I challenged myself to write a poem a day for a year. This was most beneficial, to have a discipline in place. I wrote from April 2010 till March 2011. About the same time I began this page. At first it did not receive a great deal of attention, although it was awarded a purple star. However from September 2012 for a few months many people visited. Some even asked me to write a poem specific to their experience of loss. I felt privileged to do this. My other experience in helping with bereavement has been in taking a few funeral services during the past year. These have been very important occasions for me. It is such a privilege to stand beside people in their grief and offer words of comfort. I usually write a poem for each occasion. I have included some here but with changes as I like my people to know that each poem is just for them.

I intend to add poems to this page as and when I feel able to write them. I hope you, my readers, will find something here to help you in some way.

A poem of early loss

O little one,

We loved you so.

Though you were here

So short a while.

Helplessly we commit you

To our Father's care

And are grateful

That He does not require us

To understand.

Such joy when you came,

Such sorrow when you left.

And the Father understands

Our anger and our tears.

He does not require us to hang on to Him,

For He holds us in His care.

And keeps us though we feel lost and away from Him.

This little life has made an impact on us

Which will never be forgotten.

Her life part of the mystery of being,

Having a far-reaching effect,although here

So short a time with us.

Listen

Liz Mackay

I knew a couple at church, only slightly, but when I heard their little grandchild had succumbed to cot death I was very moved and wrote this poem, to try in some small way to help them.Several months later I was honoured and humbled to discover that my poem had been read at the funeral service. I wanted them and the parents to know that God cared and even understood when they felt angry.

Wispy smoke from the Autumn fire rises on high.

Once more the leaves are burnt.

They no longer fly,

The year is dying,

The trees are sighing.

The trees are put to bed

And their glorious filigree

Reaches into the sky.

They only sleep,

They do not die.

Dormant they stand

All across the land

Astride the landscape

Tall and grand.

The waning light

Has bid them sleep.

One last stand they took,

In glorious colour bedecked.

Take one last look

For the wondrous colour

Will not last,

But fall away

With the wind's cold blast.

So too, my love

My time with you is gone.

Winter has come

Where once the sun had shone.

Life's colour fades

To muted black and white

And widow's weeds

Wrap round me this dark night.

We had our fill of seasons,

Walked hand in hand

O'er pastures green

Which filled the land.

We raised our brood

And raised them good.

Now they flourish,

But we are parted,

Our time fulfilled

And you departed.

A poem of childhood parting and loss

Angela, my first friend

And special for that reason.

I the youngest in my family

Took great delight

In having a younger friend;

Someone I could look after

And hold her hand

In protection.

But I could not

Keep her safe

From the biting wheels

Which trapped her,

Killed by her Father's

Unwitting hand

On the steering wheel of his car.

What sense in this O God?

He was off to preach your word.

Felt the bump.

As Angela lay crushed,

Thought he had run over a cat.

Poor man never the same again.

O God! Why?

And down the years

The question rings still

And in many a life

Where loss is known,

That agony lives on

O God! Why?

There is no easy answer

We have to find it on our own

In the only way we can make sense of it.

And long the wounding years may be,

Before we find an answer.

Listen

Liz Mackay

This poem is based on a true event from my childhood, an event which has remained with me all through my life. Angela was two when she died and I was three. She was special to me because my brother and sister were quite a bit older than me and so it was good to have a little friend that I could look after. This was my first experience of death and had a marked effect on me from then on into the rest of my life. Those were the days before people thought about children grieving so there was not much help with this. As an adult I took it into my head to visit Angela's grave and was surprised to find I had chosen a day very close to the anniversary of her death. I think the flowers blooming in my garden had reminded me of her, particularly the sweet williams, they would have been blooming on the day she died all those years before.

Any bereavement is hard to understand and hard to bear. Suddenly one is thrown into painful emotions. The most difficult to bear must be the loss of a child to a parent. This seems so unnatural that we should survive, while our much loved child is gone. A little one we have hardly learned to know and love is taken away and where we had spent months preparing for their arrival, we now have long years to lament their going. Similarly having brought up a young teenager to where they are on the brink of fulfilling their dreams, their life is cut short and the parent's life spent raising them seems pointless.

Bereavement is a time when we have to face a period of thinking through what has happened and trying to make sense of the senseless. It is hard work and has to be undertaken if the bereaved person is to come through it and learn to live again.

A poem about aloneness

Do not be afraid

To live alone.

It is strange at first,

But has its compensations.

For friendship and company

You have gained

Solitude and peace.

The peace of your own decision

With none to gainsay

Your wisdom.

And as you gain in confidence

The joy of your own choice,

Step forward

And be your own person.

Reach up to the Lord on high,

Who can now fill your days

And meet you

In the quietness.

Peace not possible before

When you were "cumbered with much serving."

Now is your "Mary" time,

Time for fulfillment.

The years before were good.

Now is the ripening come.

Fill your hours with listening.

Your Lord awaits

To fill your mouth with good things.

Sit at His feet

And take your fill,

Drink in the living water,

He has for you,

Come fill your cup.

The King of kings awaits

At the banquet.

Liz Mackay

Listen

Liz Mackay

This poem is about being alone for whatever reason and its advantages as well as disadvantages. I live alone after divorce.There are indeed lots of advantages of being on one's own. I never feel lonely in bed at night, I just thoroughly enjoy having a comfortable bed to myself with no one to kick me or complain if I snore! I also like to pray in bed and solitude is very good for this.

On my own I don't have to cook at a particular time and if I don't want to tidy up I needn't. I can watch what I want on the T.V. or read a book without interruption. I understand it if others find life difficult on their own, but I enjoy it.

Where the wind is sighing through the beech trees

And the light flickers through the branches

And the young plum trees

Stand guard and lead you up the path

From the south, to my resting place.

Where the long grasses wave over me,

I lay me down in the paddock I loved.

For rest at last has come.

I loved my life and lived it well.

Loved and was loved

By friends and family.

You cannot now believe I have gone

But through all the bewilderment

You will keep me in memory.

The best of times bright and good;

The more painful times

Mellowed with my passing.

May those good memories inspire you to live your lives to the full,

Pressing on into the future and in no way held back by thoughts of me.

May my epitaph be

The fullness of life you each one live.

Liz Mackay

This word means purging or cleansing. The Greeks believed that when a person watched a drama they felt the emotions of the characters and this cleansed their own emotions. This also happens when reading poetry. The reader recognizes their own feelings as expressed by the poem and feels those emotions more keenly and then feels better for it afterwards.

Sometimes the person grieving has that grief delayed because of other problems at the time of the death. I have a friend who not only lost her husband but also lost her job and home all at the same time. Because she was so busy dealing with these matters her grieving was delayed. To help get back into the grieving process, which is a necessary stage to recovery, the griever may need the help of poetry or drama or something similar.

The Bible can be a great source of comfort when we are going through a time of grieving. When King David and Bathsheba had their first son and he was ill, David fasted and prayed earnestly to God. When the baby died David's courtiers were amazed that he stopped being in a state of outward grief. David said that now that the baby was dead there was nothing he could do but wait for the time when he would meet him after his own death. People react differently to grief. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. You can only do it in your own way.

The Psalms, many written by David,are really poems. Because of translation from the Hebrew, they do not rhyme as we understand it. Some of them are written so that each line starts with the letters of the Hebrew alphabet in order. Much of the book of Job is poetic as is The Song of Songs.

A Sudden Unexpected Loss

You were just beginning to bloom,

My beautiful daughter,

When without warning

The frost cut you down,

The cruel frost of death.

Such a bloom on your cheeks,

Such lustre in your hair.

Then at a stroke, no more.

No explanation,

No apparent illness.

But gone never-the-less,

Taken away from us

In the first blooming of your youth.

And why? is on our lips and in our hearts.

Sixteen years we cherished you

And watched your progress.

Such a healthy, happy child,

With such love of life.

You entered into life

Enjoyed your growing powers,

Shared friendship,

Were a good companion to your friends.

And then one night you slept

To wake no more.

How devastating a blow

For your family and friends.

We celebrate your short life

And mourn your passing.

Listen

A girl in our area, whom I did not know, died over night for no apparent reason. They call it sudden death syndrome.This sad occurence touched my heart and so I wrote this poem.

I've lost my best buddy,

My best friend.

There's a space in my life,

A gap that will not mend.

Yet I struggle on,

Trying to keep things together.

I feel like a bird

Plucked of every feather.

The sun doesn't shine

As strongly as it did

When you were here,

Before you left and hid.

The sky is grey and dreary,

The rain is pouring down.

You took the sunshine with you,

While I in sorrow drown.

God is a God of love,

But that doesn't mean he's easy to understand.

We don't know why He takes away

Those most precious to us

When it seems we need them most.

Why, when some sad old man coughs in pain through his later years,

Does God take our rosy, healthy child

Run over by a car.

But faith clings on

And knows our God is good.

He is greater than our reasoning

He knows the final good

Which will see us saying in amazement

"So that is why,

I could never have dreamed such a purpose could be

In my limited human thinking

God is good,

God is love.

I see it all now."

But we are still here in time

And must trust where we cannot see.

And the tears must flow

And the anguish tear our hearts,

As we struggle with the pain and loss

And slowly move from day to day

Uncertain how to face the grief,

Stepping forward into a different life,

Without the beloved one.

Listen

Drifting down

From a leaden sky

The snow flakes come

And I remember

How you loved the Winter.

You would bring in the logs

From the wood pile

And build up the fire

Then settle to reading

In the warm glow.

Now our son

Brings in the wood,

Collected in the Summer.

He builds up the fire for me

And settles me in the chair

To read as you once did.

Loss of a Pet

You were my faithful friend,

We walked together many a mile

In companionable silence.

Whatever mood I was in

You shared it

And never questioned how I felt,

But plodded softly beside me.

If my mood was high

Our pace would quicken.

If low,

You adjusted your step

To mine.

You did not whine or whinge,

But simply barked

At the joy of knowing Spring.

For twelve years

You walked the lanes with me.

Then death took you

With his icy hands

To your rest.

I know not which is most,

The pain of losing you,

Or the warm memory of

Knowing you so long.

Listen

For many the loss of a much loved pet can be just as traumatic as the loss of a family member. I have celebrated those feelings in this poem.

Now you are gone

I turn to find you,

But you are no longer there.

And still it hurts

To be thus alone.

But I can hear you say,

"Cheer up, old girl.

There is still life for you to live.

Don't let me down

In seeing you mope.

How can I enjoy heaven

If I have to see you so down at mouth?

Buck up, old girl - LIVE."

Listen

Grief is something none of us wants to experience but we will all meet in our lives. It may be the shock of losing a school friend when we are young, or it may be seeing one’s elderly friends passing away as we get older until none of our age group friends are left. We all need help at these times to come to terms with our loss. One of the most helpful things, at these times is to hear how other people have coped with grief. In my poems I either express my own grief or I get alongside other people and express their grief for them. This is a position of privilege and I do not take it lightly, but I hope to help those who are touched by my poems. I hope through my poems I can reach out to you and touch you with love and empathy as you experience your own unique time of grief.

You drifted into unconsciousness

That final night when death was near.

I held your hand and softly spoke

My love to you my dear

And your hand gripped mine one last time

Then you left without a tear.

Your spirit lifted to eternity,

Left your body to its fate.

It began to wither from that hour,

While you stood at heaven's gate.

I sat a while beside the bed

But knew I must no longer wait.

You had gone home to glory

After a long life of mental pain,

Now what you would find;

Would only be for your gain.

Among the blessed ones in heaven

Washed clean from every stain.

Listen

Dad was bipolar and was not easy to live with. When he was "high" he was argumentative and would tease me. He was rarely stable. When he was "low" he took to his bed. However Dad had a strong faith in God and more than anything wanted to please him. When he was "high" nothing could shake his faith. When he was "low" all sorts of doubts would plague him. When he was nearing the end of his life he was in hospital. Here he was at his most sure about his faith. One day I visited him and spoke to him as his eyes were closed. I said "Hello Dad." He opened his eyes and said, "I was just going to be with the Lord." I said I was sorry to have interrupted him. He actually died a few days later. I was with him at that time. . I could see his heart was not working well as his fingers were blue. He was unconscious and drifted gently away This was the only time I had seen anyone die. It was not scary but just the natural close to a life well lived. The poem above is dedicated to him.

No poem softly rolling from my lips,

Can tell my pain at losing you.

No song in piteous lament,

Give back the sorrow since you flew.

Since you flew to realms of light eternal,

From which you cannot return,

To keep me company once more.

We cannot meet until my final flight

Wings me to your side for ever more

Listen

'Tis well gone fifty years

Since I gave birth to you,

My gentle daughter.

But you have left me

Bereft,

Not knowing how

To come to terms with your loss.

I should have preceded you

In death's cold stream.

But you, the stay of my old age

Have now passed through

The eternal portals

And left my heart

Aching at the core.

Where shall I turn for comfort?

Where find the warmth

I knew with you?

Your laughter and your joy

Is swallowed up

And will not return.

Is there an after life

Where you still live?

An unknown bliss

In far off heavenly halls?

Do you live on

In such a blessed place?

I cannot tell

But hope beats in my heart,

For I would wish it so.

Listen

Men and women grieve in different ways. While a mother may cry much and frequently the father will be silent and appear unfeeling, when in fact he is just as distraught. The wife can mistake this for an uncaring attitude to the lost child. Often marriages break up because of this lack of understanding. That is so sad. See the links below to find out how each partner grieves.

I walked today in golden fields

Where we were wont to roam.

I smelt the air

As crisp as ever,

Treading the soft brown loam.

I did not walk alone my dear,

For you are long since gone.

I held another hand my love,

Walked where the golden sun shone.

I felt you smile upon us,

For you dwell where jealousy is not known.

You would be glad I have a helper.

You would not want me to be alone.

I do not speak of you to him,

But hold you in my heart.

He knows not that my first true love

Can never from me part.

Your pain

Is the pain of loss, my love.

It springs from a well so deep.

It overwhelms you now, my love

And robs you of your sleep.

But in time

The pain will heal, my love.

The throb will surely grow less,

For He will be in your heart, my love,

To comfort and to bless.

For the winter of the soul's dark night

Will surely be healed and put to right

When we meet once more in heaven's light,

When we've fought and won the final fight

Listen

Sometimes words are hollow.

I sit in the humming silence

With the clock ticking away the seconds,

Taking me further and further away

From the day I last saw you.

I am drifting in a sea of loneliness.

Friends come in their lifeboat

To rescue me.

But I cannot seem to catch the lifebelts they fling at me.

They want to help but are exasperated by my inability to respond to them.

They want me to pull myself together

And do not understand that I have lost so much

Of myself in you

That there is not enough left of me to pull together.

And yet the weight I have ties me to this earth

When I would be gone.

Liz Mackay

I recently took my first funeral service. A friend who died of cancer specifically asked me to take her service. I was amazed to discover what a privilege and honour this was. Below you can take the link to my page about how I became a Methodist Local Preacher. I am about to take my second service and for this I have written a poem which I will not feature here, as it was written for the family, to be just for them. I feel God has gifted me to be able to come alongside grieving families and give them a service to help them find closure, so that this time marks an end of what came before and a beginning of a new but very different future. I declare the hope of the Christian faith that there is a future of great joy and peace for those who put their trust in Jesus. Below find may page that helps you find material for a funeral and how you can help your family by choosing your own hymns and readings and poetry and music.

A little child is crying

Her Mommy went away.

She cannot understand it

She wanted her to stay.

This tenderhearted, little one

Is grieving

In her own way

"Oh why did Mommy have to go?

Why couldn't she stay?"

They told her of the angels bright

Where Mommy's gone to live,

But oh she wanted Mommy

Anything she would give

To have her Mommy back here;

To cuddle her on her knee.

But her Mommy's gone forever,

That's how it has to be.

The grown-ups don't appreciate

The pain she's going through.

They think she's young and will get over it

And think of something new.

But little lives are tender

And soak up all the pain

They need such loving help

To take them where they gain

The path that leads to acceptance

That it was no fault of there's

That took their Mommy from them

Up those golden stairs.

Listen

You are just a boat-ride away now

My ticket is booked

But is not for yet, not now.

No matter how hard I would wish it.

I miss you so and how!

I hear the water lapping

As I stand on the final shore,

But I must live a little longer,

Must keep the routine going,

Must fight this bloody war.

Life is a battle since you left,

A struggle to survive;

To keep my mind on everyday things,

Since you are not here or alive.

It is very important to look on the bright side. Your cup may not be full but you should see it as being half full, not half empty. Instead of thinking about the fact that you have lost someone, remember the good times you had with them. If they died of some particular illness you could decide to help a charity that helps other people with that illness. Maybe this way you could give the gift of life to someone else. You could work in a local charity shop. This way you would also have company and gain new friends.

If you are widowed there is no reason why you should not get married again. That is a compliment to the one you have lost. It says,"Marriage to you was good and makes me want to find something of that joy again."

Look for the joy that is still in your life and be positive. Do not wrap yourself in a cocoon of misery or you will drive people away from you, at a time when you need your friends. You should not talk continually about your bereavement or you will drag yourself into depression and that can take a long time to go away. You don't have to tell people about your bereavement. Your close friends will already know and acquaintances can be kept in the dark. You are making a new life now and though you will be sad there are still good things in life to enjoy.

At first you will be numb with disbelief that you have lost your dear one Probably you will cry a lot. Funeral arrangements will keep you busy at first, but after that the real work of grieving will take place. It may be helpful to keep a special time each day when you allow the tears to come freely. You might then be able to get through your daytime coping fairly well, knowing that you have that special time later on when you can just let go of your feelings.

It is always helpful to have understanding friends around, especially ones who have experienced what you are going through. Try not to shut yourself away from other people. We are social animals and need one another. None of us likes to cry in public but you should not be ashamed of doing so, Emotions are important things and we should feel able to express them.

If you find yourself getting depressed go to your doctor for advice and treatment if necessary. Get help wherever you can. If you have family lean on them, that's what families are for. And remember there are good times again up ahead.

Although reading poetry someone else has written can help you with your feelings, there is nothing as good as tapping into your own emotions and expressing yourself on paper. It is a great help in coming to terms with your loss. What you write can be just for you to read with no need to worry about what someone else would think of your creation.

Wish me a wish

Of former days.

Stand by my side,

See the morning haze.

Mist oe'r the river

Splice me a sliver

Of all that was good

When we had each other.

Give me a moment

Under the moon's silver disc.

Embrace my shoulders,

Blow me a kiss.

Stand beside me

when the sun beats down

On golden corn,

The year's nuptial crown.

But now you are gone

And cruel winter is here.

I hear your voice no longer,

My own precious Dear.

We all come across sorrow in life at some point. Sometimes we might lose a school friend, sometimes a parent. I feel that those of us who can express our emotions at these times, can help others to know that they are not alone. This painful time is common to us all. For some reason there is comfort in this. That is why I wrote these poems. Occasionally I give a poem to a friend lost in sorrow. These poems are best read when you are going to cry in any case. If you are feeling stronger it is best not to read them or tears may come. They can also be read by people who have come to terms with their loss. At such a time they will be poignant but not distressing. I hope you are able to use my poems as therapy. May the pain of sorrow lessen even though its reality will never go away. God bless you in your journey back into the sunlight.

When you see the trees

Tossed by the breeze

Know that I am not there

But still remember me.

When summer days

Shine through the haze,

Know that I am not there

But still remember me.

I dwell in heights of glory,

Where God is on his throne.

I joy to worship him,

With myriad folk, so never am alone.

And praising God is joyous.

How much I cannot say,

But my time is fulfilled

More than on any earthly day.

For here there is no time,

We do not say "Goodbye"

But endlessly we love and are loved

And never more will die.

Today we meet and sadly so

To mark the passing of this man,

For cruel death comes to us all,

though this was not the first intended plan.

For mankind was made for life and love,

To praise his Maker and adore.

But Eve and Adam fell

And opened up to death the door.

But God would not be thwarted in His purpose

And had already prepared a way

For mankind to come back

And enter into eternal life one day.

He sent His Son Jesus by name

To take the punishment and blame,

So that all who believed in Him

And in Him put their trust,

Could be freed at last,

And pass through death

To find it but the gate of heaven.

Thus, sad though this day is for us,

We look beyond to realms of light

Where myriad souls, have entered,

Saved by Jesus's might.

The years have flown

As years must do,

But still will I remember you.

The radiant bride

I proudly wed;

The mother of our little brood.

But they are grown

And parents too.

Now I am left to mourn alone.

For with those years you too have flown.

The memories bitter-sweet must be

For death has parted you from me.

The finality is hard to bear

And fills my mind with many a care.

Where once our days were filled with busy hours

I now find emptiness.

I struggle to live through each day;

The pain it deepens.

Will it never go away?

And if it did, what guilt I then would know;

To forget my bonny lass

And without a thought of her

Through this world to go.

When you have lost a loved one you need a certain amount of time on your own to grieve and come to terms with what has happened, but you also need to spend time with other people. You need people who can listen and understand that the grieving process takes time. When you lose your partner who may need one to two years to come to terms with what has happened or even longer. People who have never had this experience may expect you to be "over it" in a few months. So it is important to be around people who understand

Some people are more empathetic than others and even if they have not lost someone close they may be able to understand something of what you are going through.

It can also be a relief sometimes to talk with a stranger in passing and know that they don't know what you are going through and you don't need to tell them. You can only find a way through in your own way. Everyone is different and yet we can find comfort in talking with one another.

I found him

Collapsed on the lawn.

I knelt and put his head on my lap

In the pale light of dawn.

"Do you hear that drum," he said.

"No, no my dear

I hear no drum."

"To me it's quite clear," he said

"It calls me to go yonder."

"No, no my dear

I hear it not.

All will be well, don't fear."

"And now there's a bell

I hear it bright.

'Tis tolling the knell

And there's a shining light.

They are calling me homeward.

I cannot stay.

Farewell good wife,

I must away.

From Beacon Hill

I downward cast my eye,

To that green field

Wherein your body lies.

And as the tears

Do blur that peaceful scene

I remember oh so much

What your love meant to me.

Your mellow voice

Doth seem to whisper in my ear

Of days we spent

In this poor sorry world,

Where all seems well

'Til one is whisked away

To realms of light.

Whilst one must stay

And face the journey onward

All alone.

Now I am left in sadness to mourn,

Tears flood mine eyes, and my heart is sad.

Now you are gone I am left forlorn.

Now widow's weeds my body adorn,

Gone is my sweetest and bonny lad.

Now I am left in sadness to mourn

No longer with horse and hunter's horn

Do you ride with the good and the bad.

Now you are gone I am left forlorn.

Your wardrobe still holds the clothes you had worn.

I smell you still, it makes me feel mad.

Now I am left in sadness to mourn.

In memory of you my head I have shorn.

In you our children have lost a good Dad.

Now you are gone we are left forlorn.

And so I remember you each morn.

Remember the times of joy we had

Now I am left in sadness to mourn

Now you are gone I am left forlorn.

For some people grieving is very difficult. When a parent dies at a ripe old age grieving can be a natural process which settles into acceptance, but for some this is not a possibility. When a person has had an abusive parent there can be a sense of relief that they are gone at last, but it is not a happy conclusion. Although I have not experienced this for myself I have attempted to write a poem below which might help someone express their feelings at a time like this.

Rock me gently, my Lord

In your arms this night.

Carry me safely

To the land of light,

Where all your good servants

Are welcomed with rest,

In that land beyond this,

The land of the blest.

For life has been kind to me,

But now I must sleep.

Rock me gently my Lord

As I pass o'er the deep.

They tell me you have died.

I will not come to your funeral,

Or stand at your graveside.

For we were never friends

You and I.

You were meant to be my father,

But instead you tormented me.

I will say no more of that,

For you know what you did.

It is not that I rejoice at your death,

But just that I have a hollow spot

Where my grief should be.

and so I let you go on your way,

While I hope I can bury the pain you caused.

This is not my experience but I wanted to express how someone abused might feel. I hope it is helpful to someone, but realize I might have got it totally wrong.

Memories, memories

Weaving through my mind

Of the many times we spent together.

These memories I find

Still linger in the twilight

And come to me at dawn.

Memories, sweet memories

You have left behind.

Memories of when

First we met;

Walking out together,in the sun or wet.

We didn't mind the weather

Just as long

As we could be

Travelling side by side

In joyful company.

We had so many happy days

And also coped with pain,

But there was always love

In sunshine and in rain.

Then came the time when you must go

And leave me on my own.

At first it was hard

My heart felt like stone.

But you would not want me thus

And so I struggle on.

I'll live my life in memory of you

'Til it's time for me to be gone.

I look back

At the days of the past,

Days when you were with me,

They have flown so fast.

They were days of beauty

They were days of charm,

Days we spent

On our own little farm.

We raised our cows and sheep and pigs,

Life was good

And we danced many jigs

In the barn dances we held

On the old barn floor.

'Tis good to look back

And I draw strength from it,

To carry on and live life

To the full, every bit.

To drink life to the dregs

Is my intent,

Though you are gone,

All your days spent.

Life is for living,

Though your life is o'er.

I want to live a good life

Though you are with me no more.

In pastures green I lay me down

And rest life's troubles o'er.

I've fought the fight,

Known love and pain.

Shared life with loved ones.

Known the pain of their passing

Now comes my time to rest

In God's good earth.

Free from life's struggles

Where God gives his children peace.

Liz Mackay

I believe that poetry can have a very beneficial affect on someone who shares the emotions expressed my the poet. I do not feel it is mawkish or ghoulish to write about these difficult times. We all have to face bereavement throughout our lives, some earlier than others. I believe it can be a great comfort to find your emotions shared and expressed by another human being.

As a teenager I was touched by the poems of Thomas Hardy and also his novels. He was a particularly melancholic writer. Most of his books do not have happy endings. For me that is going a stage too far. As a Christian I see hope in God as a real and precious thing.

I hope you, my reader, have gained a little help from my poems. Perhaps you would like to read some on a happier note. You will find links to other pages as you progress down this page. Happy reading.

These are groups where people with similar problems can share how they cope. In this case the problem is bereavement. You can get together with other bereaved people and share your experiences. Some people will be ahead of you on the journey, others coming up behind you. You can reassure one another that there is life after bereavement but that it is different. Life can never be the same, but it can still be good. You will find that some people's circumstances are ijn some ways much harder than your own and this can make you grateful for the life you have. Always be thankful for the good times you had with your loved one and remember all those good times, cherishing them.

Helping others with their bereavement can be very therapeutic for you, but be careful as there are people who like to make a meal of their misery and can make demands on you that you are in no position to cope with. However you can make good friends and support each other.